Homeland Insecurity: A-tisket, a-tasket ...
by Lisa Davis
Mar 31, 2013 | 1424 views |  0 comments | 5 5 recommendations | email to a friend | print
When are you too old for an Easter basket?

That was the question of the week among my mom friends. For many, the answer was “never!” They were still making Easter baskets for their kids in college.

For my mother, the answer was “11,” because my mother wanted me to grow up. (Although I was never too old for Christmas stockings. I’m still not, even if I have to stuff my stocking myself.)

This year, both of my children were officially too old to participate in the annual Easter egg hunt at our church. But they weren’t too old for Easter baskets.

Our Easter bunny has never brought those fancy, elaborate baskets stuffed with toys and games and stuffed animals and books and clothes and 18 kinds of candy and plastic eggs filled with money. (Although this year he might have been tempted to bring one of those plastic bunny figures that poops chocolate eggs, or the chocolate zombie bunny from Think Geek.)

Every year, our Easter bunny brings some jelly beans, some miniature chocolate eggs and a chocolate bunny — preferably Godiva or Lindt. Also, it must be a solid chocolate bunny, because nothing equals the disappointment of biting the ear off of a chocolate bunny and discovering that it is hollow inside. Also, chocolate bunnies should be eaten ears first. I do not hold with this nonsense of starting at the tail.

Our Easter bunny brought Peeps one year, but they were not very well received.

He doesn’t use plastic grass anymore, because that stuff is just nasty. It gets everywhere and is impossible to clean up, just like packing peanuts, and whoever heard of neon pink grass anyway?

And why is the Easter bunny a boy? Why is he a bunny in the first place? Shouldn’t the magical creature that leaves eggs all over the yard be a giant chicken?

So many questions.

I have a friend whose Easter tradition is to spend an entire day making elaborate pysanky Ukrainian eggs with her children.

Martha Stewart has been known to cover Easter eggs in gold leaf.

We spend 20 or 30 minutes every year with the low-end Paas egg dyeing kit. Our tradition is to fight over the little metal egg-holder.

Why can’t they put two of those things in the box? I’d gladly take an extra little metal egg-holder instead of those cellophane egg wraps that never work.

Last week, when I was at the grocery store stocking up on eggs and ham with the rest of the world, the checkout ladies and I chatted about our Easter plans.

Neither of them had children, but they were still making Easter baskets. One was planning to make an Easter basket for herself, with dark chocolate Cadbury eggs.

The other was planning to make an Easter basket for her husband, stuffed with action movies and a couple of Coronas.

Maybe I’m not too old for an Easter basket after all.

Contact Lisa Davis at ldavis@annistonstar.com
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Homeland Insecurity: A-tisket, a-tasket ... by Lisa Davis

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