Two Learning Experiences In One Day
by JohnBagwell
 Faith & Family
Dec 21, 2011 | 2264 views |  0 comments | 12 12 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink

In our house, we have slowly begun to raise Alabama fans.  We do not sit down and educate our daughters about how important it is to root for Alabama, but they pick it up.  They see us watch the football games, see me cheer when one team does something I like, and hear me groan when the other team does something I do not like.  "Which team are we cheering for," my daughter will ask, "the red one or the orange one?"  She is learning to love what I love not because I am sitting down trying to teach her to love a thing, she naturally tends to gravitate toward areas of my life that occupy my time.

parent teach childrenWhat we want to teach our children about life is not something they learn, what we actually practice in life is what teaches our children whether we want to or not.  This was my first learning experience: If what you do teaches your children, what are you teaching them about God, about the Bible, about a relationship with God?

I really enjoy the tablet PC I received for my birthday last month.  The functionality it has for work, reading books, surfing the web, sending and receiving emails, and even the games can really occupy a good bit of time.  However, I recently heard a message about how what we do teaches our children, and my mind went to the times when I was playing a game on my tablet PC and how quickly my daughters came to me, peering over my shoulder, watching me . . . and learning.

"This is what I love, this is what is important to me" is the message I was communicating.  Whether I like it or not, that message was coming in loud and clear to them.  The good thing is, I don't have to communicate that message.  I can change that message, simply by changing what they see.

parent teach children bibleEarlier this week I sat down and brought up a Bible verse on the tablet, and without me calling for them my daughters had quickly settled next to me, watching me, and began asking me what I was doing.  I had picked  Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."  I wanted to teach them something about how they talk to each other as sisters, and in an effort to teach them through example, they taught me.

"Right now I would like for you to think of something nice to say."  My oldest thought for a moment and said, "I like you because you're cute."  To which my youngest replied, "I don't like to be cute," with a small frown.  I looked at my oldest, "You just said something kind and nice, but she didn't hear it that way.  Like the verse, we need to know to answer every person we meet, which means we need to know how to talk to people so they will understand what we mean.  Can you think of another way to say what you mean so she will understand and like what you said?"

parent teach children2After a few moments of back and forth communications between my two daughters, both having found ways to speak kindly to each other, I turned to my youngest and asked, "So, what did she say to you that was kind?"  The response came, "Uh, I don't remember."  I told the oldest to repeat what she had said, and began to think about the two lessons I had just learned.

Sometimes we speak to our wives, our children, and other people in ways we believe are good and kind, but they don't always hear it that way.  When they take offense, the tendency is to get defensive instead of modifying our speech.  As well, even when a good message does get across to someone, it is usually quickly forgotten.  So, we should all learn to speak more effectively at speaking kind words, and then learn to repeat that message as often as possible.

This was my second learning experience: How would you respond to someone who had learned to speak kindly to you in an effective way, and repeatedly did so over and over again affirming and reaffirming good things about you?

EMERGENCY!!
by JohnBagwell
 Faith & Family
Dec 06, 2011 | 1958 views |  0 comments | 20 20 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink

I had just arrived home from a business trip and pulled up into the driveway.  My wife was waiting in the carport outside, when just as I opened my car door my oldest daughter came running . . . with fear on her face.  "Mom! Come quick!"  My wife went inside and I just let her go handle it as I grabbed my stuff from the car and headed into the house.  I could hear some whimpering from the back of the house, and so I followed the sounds.

emergencyIn the bathroom my wife was pressing a wet wash cloth on the mouth of my youngest daughter while the oldest just stood there looking pale and worried.  Whatever had happened, blood was definitely involved, and the oldest was obviously feeling guilty and responsible.  Shaking off the exhaustion from hours of travel, I asked calmly, "What happened?"

What ensued was an animated and worried explanation by my oldest daughter of how she accidentally slammed the door to the bathroom into the face of her younger sister who was busy being nosey while my oldest was trying to get some privacy.  "Tell her you're sorry."  My oldest apologized.  "Guess you will leave her alone when she needs to use the bathroom from now on won't you?"  My youngest nodded.

huggingI hugged my oldest, telling her that everything will be fine, and that she was not in trouble.  I believed her when she told her story, not so much because she is not capable of lying, but that she has a home-grown fear of the consequences of lying that far outweigh any fear of discipline for whatever she has done.  I then went to my youngest, picked her up, and just hugged her, too.

Within 30 minutes, it was as if the incident had never happened, and life restarted in our house with our little family.  Thing is, such small emergencies are much bigger than most men realize.  If I had over-reacted, I very well could have wounded the spirit of my oldest.  Ignore it completely, and the youngest would be left to wonder if she mattered at all.  I'm not saying I handled the situation perfectly, or even the best way possible, but I handled it keeping both of my daughters in mind.

This was not a medical emergency, it was an emergency of priorities.  Your children need to know that they matter to you.  No matter how big or small the incident, when things go wrong in their lives they want to know you care enough to take some time out for them.  If my children had been boys, I might have handled it differently, but with a household full of females, a slap on the back and a "shake it off" simply would not be good enough here.

father daughter smilesWhether it is a broken toy, some hurt feelings, a skinned knee, or a busted lip, your kids will come to you with all sorts of emergencies.  Many of them will not require more than a few minutes of your attention, but those moments are so very important.

I think that a lot of kids who grow up starved for attention did not come to that point all at once.  Rather, it was the missed moments of small emergencies that accumulated over time, and eventually these kids learn that only the most egregious actions will ever warrant attention, and so they go there.

To keep from having those really big emergencies that are self-inflicted by your children, take advantage of the small emergencies to give them attention and show you really care.  What small emergencies, what opportunities to show your children you care are passing you by?

What If . . .
by JohnBagwell
 Faith & Family
Nov 21, 2011 | 2218 views |  0 comments | 10 10 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink

I think everyone pretty much understands "The Butterfly Effect".  There was even a movie made about it.  In short though, small actions and decisions, whimsical afterthoughts even, a glance in one direction instead of another, a spontaneous decision to do something you normally would not do, can all have repercussions far beyond what we may see or intend.  Some for good, and others not so good.

As I thought about this, I stopped to wonder how much of our lives does God really care about.  You may have heard it said that God does not really care who wins football games, what leg you choose to puts your pants on first in the morning, or whether you choose to listen to the radio instead of roll down the window on the way to work.  However, and follow me here, are we not all spiritual beings?

DecisionsWe say we understand that there is a spiritual battle that wages around us, yet most Christians I would guess live 99% of their lives without even thinking about the spiritual implications of their every day lives.  What's more, the few moments Christians do think about their spiritual lives are spent in more of a dis-associative moment of reflection or moment of silent thought in prayer that loses it's bearing on the "real world" the very moment they get on with their day.

We are made of spiritual material, spoken into existence by a spiritual God from a spiritual realm.  Hebrews 11:3 "Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear."  The physical world around us, and even our physical bodies are governed by rules created by that spiritual realm - rules which can be broken by regular people just like you and me as evidenced by Peter walking on water, and other miracles performed by men in the Bible.  How is this possible?  Because we are spiritual beings!  Decisions and actions in the spiritual realm have effects which are felt in the physical realm we are more familiar with.

What these things all have in common is a genuine faith in that spiritual realm.  All it took was tapping into the spiritual power God has placed in each of us, as God lives in us, through faith.  Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

the little thingsGo back to the Old Testament and study up on the directions God gave for the tabernacle, the sacrifices, the physical rules God gave the people to help govern their spiritual lives, and even the directions for making the clothes of the priests.  Read in the New Testament about how not one sparrow falls to the ground without God knowing, and that even the number of hairs on your head are numbered.  Now, try to tell me God is not aware of the smallest details in our lives, and if aware, that He does not care.

What if . . . every decision we make in life has spiritual implications much like the butterfly effect in the physical world?  What if  . . . the spiritual battle that ceaselessly rages around us is also subtly influencing us in the small decisions we make each and every moment of every day?

Would it not be more important then to seek guidance and wisdom daily?  To be in touch with God constantly?  1Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing."  Acts 17:11  "These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so."

We check email every day, catch up on news every day, make and/or receiver phone calls every day, yet most of us cannot be bothered to make contact with God through prayer and Bible study every day.  The result, we live a life 99% focused on the world around us, and miss the 99% of the spiritual battle being waged around us.

minefieldIgnorant of the dangers we face, we walk through the minefield of our everyday spiritual battlefields, taking wounds we do not understand nor see, and wounding others in ways we do not perceive.  The effect is that the spiritual casualty rate in our churches, homes, and marriages just continues to skyrocket ever upwards, and everyone is blindly trying to figure out why, looking for physical responses to a spiritual cause.

In light of this, how much more important is it for us as men and leaders of our homes to make spiritually informed, wise, and correct decisions?  How will the decisions you make impact the people around you spiritually, with effects in this physical world?

Reposted from www.MenRising.com

Simply Magic
by JohnBagwell
 Faith & Family
Nov 14, 2011 | 1480 views |  0 comments | 11 11 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
It was years in the making.  Conversations here and there, watching the girls get another year older, finances beginning to work out, and then the offer we could not refuse led to a decision . . . we were going to Disney World!!  We made the announcement to our daughters exactly 79 days before we would be leaving, and the wait was excruciatingly slow.

Finally, THE day arrived, and on November 4th, off we went on our little adventure.  I had never been to Disney World, so at first, I was a little taken back.  Where are all the "thrill rides" that are the hallmark attractions of other theme parks??  I understood all the Disney characters being everywhere, but I guess I was expecting more.

Then it happened.  My littlest girl met Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty to the rest of you), and the magic happened for her.  When it happened for her, it clicked for me too, because then I was able to start seeing everything through her eyes, and instantly I was stunned and in awe of everything around me.

Throughout the rest of the next week we visited the four main theme parks, (Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and Epcot) and each had its own little bit of magic to add to the experience.  That word, experience, became what defined the adventure for all of us.  Disney World was not a destination or a journey, it was an immersive EXPERIENCE that only really works when done through the eyes of a child.

My greatest magical moment happened for me personally when I saw "Illuminations" - the fireworks, laser-light, fountain, and fireworks show that happens every night at Epcot.  I had heard about this before, music and fireworks, but the experience was so much greater than I could have ever imagined.

Through the eyes of my children, their smiles, their laughter, and their wonder I was able to see and hear and experience things I had never seen, heard, or experienced before.  What made it even better is that we did it together, as a family, and to sum it all up I would have to say it was simply magic.
Give Way
by JohnBagwell
 Faith & Family
Nov 01, 2011 | 2338 views |  0 comments | 16 16 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
Recently, on a business trip, my wife and I had an occasion to visit the island of Bermuda via a cruise.  After the trip, I have come away with a very firm belief that everyone should have an occasion to take such business trips every now and again.  The trip was sponsored by the company I work for and a distributor we do business with, so it was an all-expenses-paid business business trip at that.

Out of my mind and out of the country was a great relaxing getaway.  However, being the first time my wife and I had ever been on a cruise, I wasn't sure exactly what to do once we arrived in Bermuda.  I had an idea though.  "Rent a motor-scooter" which sounded good, until everyone working on the cruise ship indicated in very kind sing-song voices that this was a "bad idea" and that people could "get hurt" doing such things, which is disturbing to hear from someone smiling broadly at you.

A little research told me why they seemed so concerned.  The island is British owned, so everyone drives on the other side of the road from what we are used to here in the USA.  I figure it's no big deal, and decide to rent the scooter anyway.  It turned out to be the right decision as we were able to go anywhere at any time on the island without waiting for buses and taxis along with the other 3,000 passengers who did not choose the scooter option.

What I remember most though about the driving part was having to concentrate very hard at intersections.  I'm coming up on the left side, and want to turn right, which means I will make a wide right to get in the left lane, and watch for traffic coming from my left in that lane.  It was a bit confusing, but what turned out to be a little more stressful were the round-about.

These circular road convergences circled around clockwise instead of counter-clockwise, and you still had to remember to stay left, while also watching from the right this time.  To help you out though, there in the middle of the road, instead of the familiar "YIELD" were the painted words "GIVE WAY" to indicate that ignorant folk like myself, namely tourists, were to give way to oncoming turtles, or birds, or anything that looked remotely like it was coming my way in my lane.

My caution did not go unnoticed by the very friendly patient islanders who kindly reminded me it was my turn to go by tooting their horns in a friendly fashion.  I can imagine they just love us tourists on motor-scooters.

When we talk about our experience back home, I am reminded by the different words used on the island for "YIELD" and think of how apt they are.  Most people understand that Yield means to let other, oncoming traffic go first, but the words "Give Way" can mean something a little different.

When we are told to "yield yourselves unto God" (Romans 6:13) it doesn't just mean that we are to allow God to work as though He is coming through our lives for a moment.  The "give way" tends to lend more, because when you give way, you are giving up your right to decide to move forward to someone else.  As it pertains to God, when we are encouraged to give way, what God wants from us is to substitute His way for our way.

Too many times though, we try to get God to come around to our line of thinking.  We know what we want and how we want it done.  Just listen to the typical "God do this or that" prayers of the average Christian.  If we are to be truly yielded to God, though, we must be willing to give way to His will, whatever it may be.

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White Plains golfer wins playoff at Cedar Ridge
by Al Muskewitz
Jun 17, 2013 | 437 views |  0 comments | 14 14 recommendations | email to a friend | print
OXFORD — If the overriding focus of the oldest age division in the Future Champions Junior Golf Tour is learning to compete for the steeper road ahead, it was mission accomplished Monday. There is no keener taskmaster for that than a sudden-death playoff, and it taught both Pediatrics Plus Invitational combatants a thing or two about competing. Dustin Travis, who won the playoff over Caleb McKinney with a bogey on the second extra hole, learned the importance of sticking to a plan even if things don’t go so well initially. McKinney learned the value of emotional balance in the heat of competition. Both players shot 4-over-par 76 in regulation at Cider Ridge and were sent out to the par-5 18th to settle the score. Travis, a rising junior at White Plains, played his back nine in even par, and McKinney chipped in off the flagstick from 30 yards for birdie on his 18th hole to force the playoff. They parred it the first time, then Travis won for the second week in a row with a five-foot bogey putt. That came after Travis hit his second shot into the right woods, took a drop and then hit it long and left. “I’ve played in a playoff before, but only one in my entire life,” Travis said. “I lost that playoff, so coming into this one it was like I wanted to get back what I lost. It gave me a lot of experience. My nerves were reckless when I got up to that first tee. Hitting it right, hitting it left … I just had to stick with it and keep my composure. I just held it together better.” For McKinney, a rising senior at Faith Christian, the nerves of his first playoff were evident. After driving it consistently all day, he drove it way right on the deciding hole, took a drop and then hit next shot into the right hazard. He tried to hit out of the ground cover but advanced the ball only a few feet, then lost his next shot into the left water hazard. He took another drop and then bladed that shot over the green, from which he conceded. “Dustin’s a great competitor. He’s very consistent,” McKinney said. “When you go into a playoff you just have to be ready. I wasn’t ready.” The Future Champions Tour is the county’s newest incarnation into junior golf development, joining the likes of the Jerry Pate and ERA/King Realty tours that developed those generations of future county standouts. It has 51 boys and girls registered from all reaches of the county, and each of its first two events has drawn 38 players. The top three finishers in each age division receive an award. If you don’t think that’s a big deal, you don’t know how competitive these kids are. “You want to be able to play in the top three and get a plaque,” said 15-year-old Madilyn Turner, a rising sophomore on Pleasant Valley’s girls team. “You’re trying to win. You’re trying to beat the other competitors. You want to be friends and everything, but you really want to win and try your best, like it was the sectionals or sub-state. To have competition like this and play different courses, it really helps so you’re not nervous when your (high school) season gets back.” While the older division is geared toward future levels of competition, the focus for the 10-and-unders is developing an interest in the game. For the 11-14s, it’s the fundamentals and rules of golf. “We’re trying to teach these kids to have fun and the rules of golf and golf etiquette. We’re definitely accomplishing that,” tour director Marcus Harrell said. “There’s no doubt they’re learning to compete. And not only are they learning, they’re having a blast at the same time. We haven’t had one person really complain about anything that’s going on. Everybody’s calling and saying it’s one of the most fun things they’ve ever done.” Added 13-year-old Jacob Lecroy: “It is real fun, definitely.” Lewis Lecroy never picked up the game until he was 41, but he’s appreciative Jacob has such a program to develop his game. Jacob, who has been playing since he was 6, won his age division Monday by more than 20 shots after posting an 81 and is considering asking to play with the older boys. He shot the lowest 18-hole score in last week’s inaugural event at The Lion Golf Club in Bremen, Ga. “This is super,” the elder Lecroy said. “I think Marcus has a good thing going, and all it’s going to do is get better. It’s big because they’re out here playing. If they werent out here playing there not going to get any better. Golf is something you have to play three to seven days a week to get any better at all. If you come out here one time a week, you’re not going to get any better. They didn’t have these opportunities (when he was younger). Now they’ve got the opportunity to be out here playing.” Al Muskewitz covers golf for The Star. He can be reached at 256-235-3577.
All-Calhoun County boys soccer: McDonald’s demand yielded results for Oxford soccer
by Brandon Miller
Jun 17, 2013 | 294 views |  0 comments | 16 16 recommendations | email to a friend | print
OXFORD — Heading into his second year as Oxford’s boys soccer coach, Dwight McDonald wanted a commitment from within the program. After the Yellow Jackets finished the 2012 season with an 11-12 record, McDonald started conditioning workouts in November, rather than the standard protocol of beginning in January. The plan was for the Yellow Jackets to build a better bond. “We had the skill, but we didn’t have the endurance,” said McDonald, The Anniston Star's Calhoun County boys soccer coach of the year. “Plus, we were more individuals last year than we were this year.” As Oxford found out months later, this made for a successful plan. Not only did Oxford make the state playoffs for the first time in 13 years, the Yellow Jackets won the Class 6A, Area 12 title and posted a 13-5-2 record. They did it behind the play of Filiberto Ruedas, Luis Gomex, Andrew Sheltzer, Matthew Lin and Bryant Luis. “The highlight of the season was our area game against Gadsden City. It was the game that put us in first place in the area,” McDonald said. “Our goalkeeper, Andrew Seltzer, stopped a penalty kick with four minutes left that could have tied the game. It came down to us winning the area and coming in second.” Although McDonald lost six starters to graduation, he is confident his system will help the program continue to succeed. “The great thing about this season was I was able to play a lot of young players. I have some eighth-graders that had game-time experience that was really good,” McDonald said. “I look at it like Alabama football in that you never start over, you just reload. I think that’s what we’ll do next year.” Brandon Miller covers prep sports for The Star. He can be reached at 256-235-3575 or follow him on Twitter @bmiller_star
All-Calhoun County boys soccer team
by Brandon Miller
Jun 17, 2013 | 327 views |  0 comments | 14 14 recommendations | email to a friend | print
FIRST TEAM Filiberto Ruedas 5-5, Sr., MF • Oxford Noteworthy: Ruedas led the team with 19 goals and eight assists, earning the Yellow Jackets’ co-Offensive MVP award for the second straight season. Mason Tompkins 5-10, Jr, D • Jacksonville Noteworthy: Tompkins was the glue of the Golden Eagles this past season, serving as the team captain and starting every game. The junior scored 14 goals and contributed eight assists, while also playing excellent defense. Mitchell Baker 5-6, 8th, F • Donoho Notewothy: Baker was the leader of the team despite being only an eighth-grader. He led the Falcons with 24 goals for the season. Baker started the year scoring Donoho’s first 18 goals. Schuylar Bucker 5-6, So., MF • Donoho Noteworthy: Buckner was the workhouse for the Falcons last season while playing center midfielder. The sophomore scored one goal for the season. Adan Escareno 5-8, Sr., F • Anniston Noteworthy: Escareno led Anniston’s offense in every way this past season. The senior led the team with 13 goals and six assists to finish his high school career. Josiah McDaniel 5-11, So., MF • Faith Christian Noteworthy: McDaniel played a large role for the Lions as a sophomore, scoring 14 goals and recording seven assists. Bryan Manuel 6-0, Sr., GK • Jacksonville Noteworthy: Manuel kept the Golden Eagles in numerous games this past season. The senior recorded eight shutouts and also scored two goals as an offensive player. Stephen Emerson 5-11, Sr., F • Faith Christian Noteworthy: Emerson led the Lions with 16 goals and also recorded five assists during his senior season at Faith Christian. Luis Gomez 4-8, Jr., F • Oxford Noteworthy: Gomez played a large role for the Yellow Jackets, finishing second on the team with 16 goals and five assists. He was awarded the co-MVP award for Oxford. Andrew Seltzer 6-1, Jr., D • Oxford Noteworthy: Seltzer earned the Yellow Jackets’ Defensive MVP award after helping Oxford reach the playoffs. The junior started one game as the goalkeeper, a 1-0 win against Gadsden City. Bryant Lewis 5-11, Sr., D • Oxford Noteworthy: Lewis played offense and defense for the Yellow Jackets and scored five goals and had three assists on the season. The senior also earned Oxford’s Leadership Award. Second TEAM Oxford — Matthew Lin, Gustavo Rios, Johnathan Becerra; Faith Christian — Tyler Johnson, Sydney Nordan, Parker Moore; Jacksonville — Brian Pryor, Andrew Staples, Austin Martin, Tyler Pass; Donoho — Wilson Landers.
Hobson City Town Council plans for the future
by Eddie Burkhalter
eburkhalter@annistonstar.com
Jun 17, 2013 | 252 views |  0 comments | 19 19 recommendations | email to a friend | print
HOBSON CITY – Among the individual goals Town Council members discussed in a Monday workshop, infrastructure improvements remained at the top of nearly everyone’s list. The combined list is varied, and it will take many sources of money – from grants to local funds – to pay for it all, the council and Mayor explained as they discussed each item during a workshop. Susie Jones, chair of the town’s Parks and Recreation Committee, asked for installation of Plexiglas windows and exterior doors at the field house at the youth sports football field, and for repair of the restrooms there. Chair of the Water and Sewer Committee, Joe Cunningham plans to change numerous leaking water meters throughout town. About 60 water meters were replaced in previous years, and there may be a grant available to pay for replacement of more, Hobson City Mayor Alberta McCrory said. The town’s water tower needs to be refurbished, McCrory said, and an old estimate on that work will have to be redone. Additionally, regular maintenance needs to be done on the water pump next to the tower, she said. An arch welcoming people to Hobson City is something Councilwoman Deneva Barnes, chair of the Streets Committee, said she’d like to see built in the coming months. A beatification board could help in that effort, Barnes said. She’d like to start such a board, and said it could help raise money to build the arch. O’Mildred Ball, chair of the Sanitation and License Committee, would like the town to consider buying a new, or slightly used, garbage truck to replace its aging one. Ball also asked about the possibility of increasing the town’s business license fees, and McCrory said that’s something she is currently considering. “We have a lot of people come into town doing odds and ends jobs,” Ball said, referring to contractors who work without paying for a business license through Town Hall. Freddie Striplin, chair of the Police and Public Safety Committee, remains worried about crime in recent weeks. “I’d like to restore a sense of safety on MLK,” Striplin said. Traffic is slowing after Calhoun County deputies began regular patrols last month, Striplin said, but there remains a criminal element that needs to be addressed, he explained. A dormant neighborhood crime watch program needs to be restarted, Striplin said, explaining it could help curb crimes that may be going unreported. “I think you’re going to have some help with that. The Housing Authority has already said they’d like to start their own watch,” McCrory told Striplin. Stray dogs — some of them seemingly aggressive — have become another problem Striplin said he’d like to address. McCrory said there is the possibility of contracting with Calhoun County Animal Control to pick up those animals. McCrory said more work is needed on Town Hall, housed in the town’s former elementary school. Painting is needed, as are repairs to the leaking roof, she said. “These are the things we’re going to get working on,” McCrory said. “And they’re the things we needed to hear.” The next council meeting will take place June 24 at 6:30 p.m. Staff writer Eddie Burkhalter: 256-235-3563. On Twitter @Burkhalter_Star.
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