I was Scared; I'm Mad and I Dont Know Who to Thank
God and his Angels were watching over my sweet Mom, as someone found her and called an ambulance. They stayed with her until the ambulance came and took her away. Of course I didnt know any of this until it was all said and done, which brings me to the rest of the story.
I was on my way to Mothers house to take her to Christmas lunch at the Waffle House and then on to visit the relatives on Christmas Day. I started to my car several different times and would either forget something, have to come back in the house, have to clean out a seat for her to ride with me, therefore bringing the groceries, or whatever inside the house, and after 5 trips of coming back and forth, I was tired of being so forgetful and wanted to get on my way, so I finally said, ok, enough, I am leaving. And I did. I left on a trip that I will never forget as long as I live.
I got to Mothers house with my Christmas gift for her in hand. I also had a bag with little grocery items in it, so when I got inside her house and hollared for her several times and she didnt answer, I started to worry. I set down the cokes and stuff and still had her gift in hand. Still calling out for her in every name I have ever used from Moma to her first name, I really started to worry. After several seconds of this, I dropped her gift to the ground right inside the front door and I screamed. I screamed her name, I screamed for help, I screamed for God to help me find my Mother. Then the awful thought came to mind that I want to find her but I dont. I wanted to see that she was just not hearing me, but I didnt want to find her injured or worse. I searched the house over. I looked outside, I looked in the basement, I looked in the yard, I looked around cars and in ditches. I ran up the street calling for her and I went from door to door at several of the neighbors houses. No one was home. No one answered me. It was like a scene from a horror movie. There was not a dog barking, there was not a bird chirping. There was not a car on the roads and I couldnt find her anywhere. I have never been so scared in my life. I think if my hair wasnt already white it would have turned right then and there. I aged at least ten years in those moments of fear.
I went back inside the house and I called every person I could think of. I called my sister in Atlanta and my cousin in Alexandria. I called everybody I thought might have a clue where she was. No one knew. I was petrified. I called my husband at work and he told me to call the Police. So I did. They told me that there was a report of an unknown elderly woman found in the road and an ambulance was called. I started to blab to the woman at the Police station this was my mother and where was she taken? The kind lady told me to sit tight and she would find out and call me right back. Within seconds she called me back and was so kind and soothing and wanted me to let her know how things worked out. I didnt get her name. I still havent called her back. I am just now getting calmed down. But I will call and I will thank her.
While I was getting dry clothes and shoes ready to take to the hospital to bring Mother home, my brother called and told me that he had gotten a call from Regional Medical Center and that Mother was there. He told me he was getting ready and would be coming from Montgomery but would meet me at the hospital. Ok, so I leave to go to the hospital and bring her home.
Well, as it so happened, she was hypothermic and had to have several tests done so we would be there for a while. And we were. She was sick. She was really sick. Having the memory problem, she couldnt exactly tell me what was wrong, but she hadnt been feeling well, and even though we had been to the doctor a week before, she was not well. No one knew. So there again, God stepped in and saved her life through having her in the road, in the rain and having someone stop to help her.
Mother is much, much better now. She is recovering with lots of help and love. She is feeling so much more like her old self, (and I say that with a smile because she tells me there is nothing wrong with her but age) and she is laughing again and just being Moma.
I was scared to death. I am mad at memory loss and dementia and all of the other diseases of the mind that takes away the memories we cherish. And, most of all, I dont know who to thank. I dont know if the persons that saw Mother in the road read these blogs, or if anyone that knows who might have called for help reads them and can tell them how very much my family appreciates them. We can never repay your kindness. God knows who you are and what care you gave one of his angels here on earth. You will be repaid with riches beyond our imagination from Him.
I dont know the name of the lady at the Police Station but I will find out. I dont know the names of the people that lovingly took her to the ER or the names of all of the wonderful people that treated Moma while in your care at the ER but I publically thank you.
She is an angel. She is my best friend. She is a large part of my life and she has touched so many people in her 84 years on this earth, and if I have anything to do with it, she will touch so many more. Hopefully soon you will see me and the other white haired lady riding around in the little red Honda again. But you might want to get out of the way, because I cant guarantee that either one of us will remember the way home.........
So What Did you do with your Year? Mine was FULL!!!
Makes me wonder what 2012 is going to show me......maybe introduce me to some famous writers that will read my blogs and give me their opinion? Hmmm...there's a thought to ponder.
This year was full of all sorts of interesting things I did for the first time. For instance: I became so humble to strangers that could help me.
I lost my sight completely in my right eye. Blind as a bat. It was scary and I had no idea what to do or how to get it fixed so I went to the eye doc and they sent me to Birmingham to the Eye Foundation and every month my husband took his vacation days and he drove me to the Eye foundation and every time we made the trip over there we talked about hoping I would be able to see again.So much nervous tension on what the doc would find or do; would there be shots; pills or hospitalization. DR. John Mason gave me a shot in my every single month and sometimes 2 times a month. He tried new techniques on me and when the sight was not getting better, he tried something he heard of and wanted to experiment with, by putting a shot inside my eyeball, and the liquid he would be injecting is a colorectal cancer drug. I had to sign saying yes I would try it. And 6 months down the road, I can now see to write, type, cook, and just about anything else close up with my prescription glasses. I can see 20/200 which is looking far away. And this is with the same eye I couldn't see a thing out of in January of this year.That was a neat experience. Thank you Dr. John O Mason. God Bless you Tracy Thomas, my husband for not having an off day for the last 12 months because you have had to take care of me and my trips to Birmingham because I couldn't drive. Bless you my love.
This year I had my hair cut off and donated 10 inches of my own white platinum blonde hair to the Cancer Society for Locks of Love. I was honored to do it and hope and pray the women and men that get their new hair from me will enjoy it as much as I have.
I lost my best fur friend and baby and I grieve every day. I miss Muff The Wonderdawg more than anyone can imagine. She was my personal secretary; best friend; sleep buddy; confidant; joy and reason to come home from work on those long hard days when my bones would hurt so bad and all I wanted to do was crawl in bed or the recliner, Muff the Wonderdawg was there to comfort and console. She knew I had a bad day and I hurt and she would lay across my lap to let me stroke her and cry. She died in my arms in June. I grieve every day.
I lost a cousin. She was much older than I but to me she was beautiful. She was aloof but her white hair and skin color made me feel that this was what I was going to look like when I grow up or grow older, whichever the case may be, and I miss knowing she is still over the hill in Weaver being a starlet. Barbara, you will be missed.
I planted potatoes and onions and garlic and strawberries and I waited with full anticipation of the crops that would come in. Still waiting on them.
I canned fresh cucumbers and made pickles. All sorts of pickles. I made sweet/hot pickles and dill and then Kosher Vegetables. I made hot salsa too. This was important because I have never canned anything before in my life.
I was instrumental in having the first annual Community Yard Sale. In an event to try to raise money for the scholarship, I being on the Weaver Alumni asked if we could have a Community Yard Sale and rent the spaces in the park so that people could pay the money to the Alumni for the Scholarship fund and the people could get rid of stuff in a yard sale without having people come to their houses and stuff. It was a good thing. Many folks came to sell and other came to buy. The weather was perfect and people made pretty good money.
In September, I was a volunteer with the Weaver Heritage Day Arts and Crafts Festival. This was the most fun to me. I was in charge of setting up a booth of information about Weaver Station and also I had SWAG BAGS filled with things I had gotten from all sorts of companies and governmental agencies. The State of Alabama gave me the bags and brochures and I filled the bags with just a little bit of everything. They were full and they were great. I made up 2000 bags and went through each and every one of them. Loved it. Met people and saw people I haven't seen in years.
Found out there is singing up at Jacksonville Health and Rehab on Sunday afternoons. Love to go to listen to the singing. Even got my mom and aunt to go with me one time and listen to the players do the Christmas show.
Spent time with my Mom. Good days and some not so good, but life. As I look at her and really pay attention to her, I see what her heart feels and what its lost. She is sad and lonely. I can be there every day but its not the same of her mom, dad, brother and sister. I am her daughter, the youngest of three children and the only one that lives here, but I am not the persons she misses. I am fine, I am comforting but I am not who she misses. I watch her slip away a little each day and my heart breaks a little more each day because I want more time with the Mother I had in the 70's and 80's when I wasn't married and we spent every Saturday in town buying and looking and eating. Little by little we got separated due to my job, her friends coming over and I had to be at work early so I couldn't stay and play Scrabble or Checkers and get in all the gossip, or watch Jim and Tammy Baker on the PTL Club all hours of the night, and now that I think back on those times, i think that's the ones I miss most. She had her life and I had mine. But we spoke every day and even though we still do, its different and you can tell that is about to run its course and she is tired. That hurts to think about. I love her so much.
On a lighter note, I passed it forward a few times. There are very few times we have any money left over at the end of the month, and sometimes its just a little as $10 which is not a lot and I know that, but you have no idea what that little bit means to someone. We were in KFC in Anniston one day. This lady came in with a walker and she was trying to pay for her dinner and hold her tray and walk the line with the walker and so on. While she had her head down, I got the attention of the cashier and I gave her the money to pay for the woman's meal. She didn't know it, and when she tried to pay and the cashier told her it was on the house that lady came over to my table and hugged me. She said she had money but she was tired because her sister was in the hospital and she was trying to hurry to get back up there and all the things that had gone wrong and so on. So I listened. She was quite happy to have someone to talk with and told me as I started to leave that I will be blessed. I told the woman I am already blessed. Another woman was waiting for her order to go and it was taking a little longer than expected so she watched the whole transaction take time. As the second woman started to leave she came over to me and hugged me. She said she was having such a bad day but to see that someone was concerned about a stranger was giving her hope.
So I gave someone hope.
I started a blog. Had no idea what a blog was nor if anyone would read it. It has always been my desire to have my writings read and reviewed and then someday someone would want to meet me and hopefully talk about a book deal. There are so many things to write about, and as I have said before my life is either a funny comedy or a sad country song, but its my life, and its out there, nothing pretentious, just me. Got a story or 10 to tell and I want to share them. And if someone wants to sign me to a deal, well then we will talk........I got a lot to say.
This year I noticed that my father in law is slowing down a little and not as physically strong as he has always been. This is bothering me. He has been my stand in dad since 1982 when I fell in love with his son. My own dad died in 1975 and I was lost for so long and then this man with tools and parts to things and organized garage with all sorts of things that are so interesting to me, well, we talked. We talked just me and him standing by the garage in the back yard and I told him I wanted to plant something to watch it grow. So he came and helped me in my yard to plant bulbs. And he trimmed trees and he cut the grass and he showed me how to take care of tools and machines; and now he is having a few memory problems and I hate it. So I have a friend in my Dad In Law and I love him. He loves me too. I kid him I am the favorite daughter in law. He laughs and says yeah because I bribe him with chocolate and Reese Cups. Don't slow down too much more Snooks, I need you to help me till another garden and plant some winter crops.
This year I became a little closer to my husband. I have known him for years.I have been married to him for years. But in the last year I have fallen in love with a man that will ask how I feel and do I need something for the various aches and pains I have. I have had to become more dependent on him and have been advised by my doctors to bring him with me to the appointments because my memory has been effected and I have no recollection of what they have said when I leave the offices. I have no idea what meds to stop or start. He has to do these for me. I am now dependent on my husband. Very dependent. My body is weakening and because of TIA's the memory is not what it should be, so Tracy has be to there to watch over and help with me. He is so good to me.
I have seen my sister in a different light. She is the oldest of the three children but she has the greatest memories of the grandparents and the parents. Being born several years before me, she grew up in a different time and with the same blood relatives as in Mom and Dad but with different times in their lives with me. So its different with me and Mother than it is with Ann and Mother. Sister is beginning to understand me and for once I am getting her too. Its taken a long time.
And this year I got to be friends with my Brother again. I got to be close to him again. I got to feel the security of a big brother again. I missed that. There is love and security that comes from your parents and there is love and security that comes from your spouse but I learned of a love my big brother has for his little sister and even tough we may be in our 50s and 60s each of us and Mother in her 80s, it is still a wonderful feeling to know that I have these folks looking out after me. Taking interest in me and loving me no matter what.
So this has been a year of not much money; prices going up; healthcare going up; and so much more, but this has been a year I wont forget. Cause this is the year I let go. I let myself enjoy things, feel things and lose people and pets. But I grew up some this year. I learned a lot this year. I learned there is love, there is A LOT of good people out there and that its all going to be alright. We are going to make it There is a way and we have to make it......we don't know what the future holds, but there is one thing for sure, we will all hold it together.
Hope you did something with you year. I did.
I Do Believe There are Angels Among Us
I was unemployed. It was at the Holiday Season. And I was a volunteer Board member on 2nd Chance, the local Domestic Abuse Agency. Our fundraiser every year was to wrap gifts in the Quinard Mall beginning the day after Thanksgiving all the way through Christmas Eve. Since I didnt have a job to go to, I had more time than money, so I volunteered to work all of the days that were open, (and there were quite a few), so I treated that as my job. And I loved it. I would dress in the colors of Christmas every day or I would wear a scarf or a pin that had to do with the Season of Giving. Loved it. I met thousands of people and because I was having such a grand time doing the wrapping of gifts, or because I am not a quiet person, I dont know which, I seemed to draw a lot of attention. The local media came in and interviewed me and asked what the donations were for and why I was there everyday and just your normal interview questions. So I got even more attention. And I captured the attention of a young man in a wheelchair. He was there every day in the mall. Sometimes he sat at the end of the hallway where I was and other days he would sit closer to the gift wrapping booth but was still too shy to come up to talk. So one day on my way to get a snack and beverage on my break I told him to come by and talk with me sometime. So he did. Every single day from the time I got there until I left, he was there. Wheelchair bound and no use of his legs or torso, he still was my favorite elf. He was known by many around as being a mall regular, so he of course drew more attention to my booth and it helped me to make more money for 2nd Chance. It was a win win situation. Then that song started playing over the loudspeaker. And we talked. We talked about religion, politics, God, earth, everything you can imagine. We talked about it. Then it got to be more of a friendship than just a casual acquaitance. He stayed at the booth the whole time I was there, day and night. More customers, well, he waited in line to see me. The very last day I was there was quite busy and I was a little rushed for time and space by that time of the season, so I was not really noticing the small package on the table in front of me. After a few minutes I looked around to see there was a note attached and it was for me. It was from Tommy. He had seen that I was busy and tired and rushed and he didnt want to bother me, so he left this small package for me still in its store bag. I could wrap it if I wanted, the note said, but if not, just look inside. I cry to this very day when I look at that gift. It is among my most treasured items, and I have never used it. But that day and Tommy comes to mind instantly when I open the box and take out those four goldtone angel napkin rings. See, Tommy told me that I was the Angel Among Us at the mall that year and and Angel to him. No one he said had taken the time to talk to him on a level that I did and overlook the wheelchair and the limitations he had. Everyone else wanted to be nice to him but not really get to know him. Tears welled up in my eyes and I told him later I couldnt accept the gift, much less the praise, I was not worthy of either. He disagreed and told me that yes, there are Angels among us. And that was one of the last heartfelt conversations we ever had. Time and work and family and lots of other things have come between us in the years that followed and I never got to tell him goodbye. See Tommy left this world earlier this year. But still when I hear that song or I handle those napkin rings, I know I was the one that was in the company of Angels. Yes, Virginia, there are Angels Among Us.
During that same time I was volunteering and wrapping gifts at the mall, I tried to spread as much cheer as I could to as many folks as I could. So many people would come in and be rushed and hurried, so if I could offer them a Merry Christmas and a candy cane, it seemed to warm the feelings of those coming into the mall and those leaving just a bit and more times than not, I wrapped at least one of their gifts.
There was a man, and I am sorry I dont remember his name, just his face, and his kind gesture. As I said, I was unemployed and was down on my luck in more ways than one, with car problems, no sign of a job, and the unemployment was about to run out. But I still remained happy and cheerful and dressed the part of a happy volunteer because thats what I was. I have faith that God will take care of tomorrow, so I just did what I felt I was led to do and we would worry about the rest later.
This gentleman walked up to the booth. He wasnt from this area and he wasnt sure what this charity was all about. So I gathered information for him and told him that I was on the Board of Directors and that I worked in the Shelter doing things like painting the walls or hanging the shower curtains or taking donated items to them or talking with the women and children one on one sometimes. And at times was just there to give a hug or a warm cup of coffee. So many things a volunteer can do and the rewards are so great. The man took my pamphlets and stayed at the other end of the hallway on a bench and just kept watching me as I talked with the customers and wrapped and attempted to make bows and they all told me I did a good job but I knew that it wasnt the talent I had seen professional wrappers do and present, but mine was filled with love for the stranger taking time to take a chance on my wrapping abilities and making a donation to 2nd Chance.
Later that evening as I was getting ready to leave, the gentleman came back to my booth and asked if I was going to be there tomorrow. Oh yes, I said and told him that I was there from open to close as a matter of fact, so come back by and lets see what odd items I can find to wrap!!!
The next day without fail, the gentleman all bundled up and rushing in from the cold brought me small boxes, large boxes, strange shaped items, just an assortment of things that he bought for his family. Great!!! I was so happy to see a new customer and to get the chance to say thanks for stopping by yesterday and taking the time to read the information about the charity. He talked with me a few minutes and asked why I was doing this. I told him that I was in a relationship many years ago and the person wasnt nice to me, and I vowed that if I could help just one person to avoid what I had gone through then I would and 2nd Chance was developed and I started donating and then became a Board Member and the rest was history. So he listened intently and asked if the person was still in my life. OH NO I exclaimed. I am married to a wonderful man that gives me the moon and stars above, he lets me have animals, he provides me with a roof over my head and a car to drive. He says I dont have to work, but I hope to return back to the working world soon so that I may take some of the financial burden off of him. And we have food. May not be what others would want, but you can usually always find a bowl of soup and some cornbread or pintos and onion on the menu any day of the week at my house. He just smiled and said, that he wished me a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and that he would be back home with his family soon, he was here on business and was missing them so badly when he saw me enjoying myself and just had to see what it was all about. He lived in another county and worked for the State Department of Transportation and he was just in such a better frame of mind because someone actually felt the love of Christmas and knew what it was all about. I smiled and said yes, I guess so, I just try to be happy and upbeat as much as possible because someone somewhere is hurting so much worse than I and having a bad time, so if I can make just one person smile or be happy, then my job is done. The gentleman bid me farewell and Merry Christmas and I did the same to him.
Late that night as the mall was closing, I was getting the scraps of paper up and cleaning up the mess I had made all through the commotion of the day. On the table lay an envelope with VOLUNTEER written on it. Since I was the only one there, I opened it and saw the most touching Christmas Card I have ever seen. He didnt know my name. He didnt know how to tell me in words what I had done to make him so much happier about being able to go home to his wife and children and tell them about the goodwill he had encountered in me. He wrote about my outfits and that he was going to tell everyone he saw to get their gifts wrapped at the mall next year. And he had one more thing. He had put a $20 bill in there. He said he heard me say that I was not working and he felt like I needed something for me. He said I had given to so many others that it was my turn to be treated. And he signed it STATE DOT guy. No name.
I can not put into words what that $20 did for me. I got gas to go home. I got food for myself and my husband (takeout was a big deal) and I got to donate some.
Yes, there are Angels among us. I am certainly not one. I can only strive to be me, and I think that God made me the best person I can be. I just have to live up to His expectations, which is a challenge, but I know I met two angels that season.
How many have I met since then? Countless........and still counting.
Be a Blessing to Someone. Lighten the Load for someone. It will make your day.
What are your Christmas memories made of?
When I was very young, Daddy would go to Jeff's BBQ in West Anniston and get BarBQ for us to have during the Christmas Holidays. There is still a smell that I associate with Jeffs and it brings a smile to me when I do.
Moma cracking open coconuts with a hammer and a nail so that she could make the coconut pie or coconut cake with just one single red Marichino cherry in the top.
A big plastic red candle with a yellow flame that we had on either side of the carport and strings of lights with big bulbs that could be seen from space that had to be plugged in everynight before Daddy got home.
A plastic Santa Clause on top of the roof with a bag attached and a spot light in the front yard showing off such. Now remember I am in my 50s so this was WAAAAYY before Walmart and other stores around here had things like that and not many people decorated as elaborately as my folks. I still dont.
Gifts under the tree for each of us, but of course I would get into mine and wear the ring or watch or whatever a long time before we were actually supposed to open the gifts.
Christmas Ornaments that the family had years before I was ever even thought about.
The smell of the fireplace when it smoked just a little.
Santa Clause at Sears on Noble Street.
The Anniston Parade and sitting on the steps of the Church of Christ on Noble thinking we had the BEST spot.
Actually getting a piece of candy that was thrown during the parade. I thought I was really something too.....
Riding around looking at Christmas lights.
Snoopy and the Red Baron song.
Charlie Brown Christmas. As a matter of fact the Charlie Brown Christmas song is one of my favorites.
Going to Christmas Mass at Fort McClellan when the troops were still there. Being in awe of all the sights and smells. And this was at midnight.
Being told to go to bed so that Santa could come on. And trying to stay awake so I could hear him.
Being threatened all through the month of December that Santa was listening and if I wasnt good, he would know it and not come.
Fresh Oranges and Apples. Nuts. Hershey Kisses in the red, green and silver foil all in the candy dish in the living room.
Assorted nuts and a nut cracker with them in the wooden bowl next to the fruit and the candies.
Those hard candies that had jelly type stuff in them and also ribbon candy.
A real tree that we had to keep water in.
Putting my rocking chair next to the tree so I could feel the warmth of the colored lights and taking in the smell of the tree.
COLD weather.
Christmas specials like Perry Como and Pat Boone. Bob Hope.
Company. (some people call them Visitors)
Christmas Cards that came in colored envelopes and some had booklets or were fold out cards that said MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE PARKERS IN WEAVER ALABAMA. And then you unfolded it to see MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM GERALD CATHERINE BROCKIE AND DEBRA. I loved seeing my name in the white letters on that red fold out. And the ones we would get from other folks with their names were my favorites.
Christmas Letters from Santa and written to Santa.
Going to Big Momas house and seeing the smaller, real tree in the corner of the living room covered in silver tinsle and BIG blue bulbs and blue lights. I mean those big blue lights.
Big Mom giving each of us kids a Silver Dollar for Christmas.
Huge bowls of Dressing and Potato Salad. These were brought up to the house by Truman White (son of Mr Thom White of Weaver) and made by his wife my aunt Mutt. When I say huge, I mean, biggest mixing bowl you can think of and we ate every bite. What I would give to have some of that dressing now......
Moma cooking a ham in the oven and putting Coke on it with brown sugar and me feeling bad because she cooked it all night (even though it was a canned ham) and she had to get up all during the night to check on it and put more coke and sugar on it. Oh man, what a sight and sense that is......
Well, I guess you get the picture, that I had a wonderful childhood when it came to Christmas. We ate and loved every minute of the music, church services, company, cards, and decorations. All of this was made possible by my parents, Gerald and Catherine Parker and my sister Ann and brother Brockie. I have been truly blessed.
Thank you. I love you. Merry Christmas to you.
What is Christmas?
I know I am going to try to be a better person. Thats my Christmas gift to each of you, to try to be a better friend, listener, volunteer, patient and caregiver. Hopefully I will succeed in this venture and if I dont, well I will keep trying until I get it right. Be blessed you all and have a wonderful Holy Season, whatever name you care to call it. Take time to Thank Him, and thank you for taking the time to read my blogs. I have been away for a while due to sickness and a few pains but I will continue to write if you continue to read. You fill my heart with joy and I thank you. Godspeed to each of you........
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