Drivers License Renewel 101
by DebraThomas
 Musings
Oct 16, 2012 | 10160 views |  0 comments | 44 44 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
I am the one person in the family that reminds everyone else to check your license on your birthday so you wont forget to renew them. Well, as luck would have it, I did check mine and I had another year. So I didnt really worry about it. But man how a year does fly!! I forgot to get them renewed THIS YEAR until of course they had expired. Now, thats bad enough, but I had to be reminded of this as I went to Walmart to get a check cashed so that I could have some cash to pay for the renewal, and thats when I was told, we cant use the license because they have expired. So I went into the explanation of yes, thats why I am here, to get the $$$ to go, oh never mind. OK. So I left.

Went to get cash at the local bank, and all was fine. Was going out on errands anyway so getting the license renewed was on the list of to do things. Grocery Store, Gas Station, you know the routine.

Got to the office and went in and waited for the Gentleman to tell me that the place to enter  for the license was back where I parked and the door that I passed which was marked DRIVERS LICENSE HERE.  Gee, I am off to a great start.  So I go back to where I am supposed to be, and stand in line. Finally the nice lady told me to go to #5 or whatever and I did. I explained that I was there to get my license renewed. Ok, she takes the old license and asks if anything had changed. I told her no, I still live at the same address and still have the same name. I kinda smiled, but no response. So I sat and waited. And waited while she put all sorts of information in the computer in front of her. Then she asks me if the weight is the same. I said yes, why do I look like its different? Again, thinking it was kind of funny, but still no response. So, she looks at me and with no expression, said, well it states here that the weight is 136.  My reaction must have caught the man in the booth next to her by surprise because I said, well that was correct when I was 15, oh, do you mean I am supposed to change it every time I get new license? What, do I not look like I weigh 136?  Still, no reposne from the lady, just what do you want me to put in here for weight?  So I gave her a number between 136 and 236 and told her to pick one. Then it came time for the color of hair. I was asked what color of hair I have, that the last time it said blonde. Again, I said, well, that was Ms Clairol 189 so that day it was blonde, but then it went to black and red and then one time I looked like an Irish Setter, and......she stopped me. So its grey. Well, no, I dont think its grey, I believe it is white. We had a discussion about that too. Evidentally my hair is grey to the person typing information about me, but in photos I see of myself and in the mirror, to me it is white. Not blonde, not platinum, just white. And it is natural too. No dyes or perfumes here.....oh wait thats a commercial for laundry detergent isnt it?  Seriously, it is my natural color. Or lack thereof. White. Weird I know.  Ok, next question, same address, same info.  Yep, check, check, check.  Then the fun begins.

She tells me to look into the eye machine and tell her what line # 3 says. So I locate #3 and I read what I see. Then she asked me if I wear glasses, (I had taken a pair in with me, so yeah, sometimes I wear glasses) but onto the reading of the line. I told her that I wear them when I read. She said, well, you are reading now. But I didnt think to put the darn glasses on, because I dont usually look at small numbers on the side of the road, so no glasses were on at the time. And they didnt go on, but now I am thinking they should have. I gave her the first two parts of the line, all the numbers. I spoke clearly and loud. Very positive. Leaned away from the screen and thats when she told me that I needed to tell her the rest of the line.

Well, for those who know me, I had lost my vision, completely, and through a miracle, my sight has been restored through shots, administered to the eye. I have been going to a doctor in Birmingham for over a year and we have shots put in every few weeks, and because they have sutured and done all sorts of other work to my eye, the vision has been restored, kinda.

I can see. Maybe not as well as I should, but I can see. I just didnt see the other part of the line. So I put the "good eye" as close to the opening where the "bad" eye had been so I could at least see the rest of the line. Ok, back on track now.

Well I recited the end of the line and was quite proud of myself for doing so.

Then the next fun part began.

She asked me to stand in front of the blue screen. No problem. I did. She told me to stare at the drawing on the end of the counter, which was a horse or cow or some farm animal. She told me to look at the drawing and there would be a flash, and after the flash I could return to my seat. Well, the light went off, and I returned to my seat.

She told me that I had to do it over again, my eyes were too big for the license. WHAT?

Yes, you need to stand up there again and dont make your eyes so big. It looks like you are scared or something.  Are you kidding me??? So like an obidient citizen, I went back to the screen and listend while she told me that I needed to make my eyes not so big.

I stood there for a few seconds and without missing a beat, I said, well, lady, I was born with them this way, and if you look at every photo ever made of me, you will see, EYES, NOSE and HAIR. Thats the things that stand out on me, so I dont know how to make them smaller.

So she advised me to squint. Or do something that would make them smaller looking beause they were too big for the photo.

Now, this wouldnt happen to anybody but me, so in the photo, (we had to take 3) I am squinting.

I guess.

I havent looked at them yet. Dont know if I want to.

I want my old license back. She punched a bunch of holes in them, and was putting so many I didnt think there was going to be anything left.

Well, I took the paper license she gave me, (WHAT NO PLASTIC COVERING??) and I gave her the cash I had prepared to pay with. 

The lady looked at the money, looked at me and said we have a problem.  I said well you told me $23.50 right?  I gave you $25 right?  I promise you the cash is good, I just went to the bank and got it.

This was the response I got. Well, yes, the money is alright, but we have no change.

What?

We have no change to give you back. Do you have $.50?

No.

Can you go get it?

Are you kidding me?

No.   We have no change in the building.

Ok, so I will be back in a minute, but I need some license, and you have made mine look like Swiss Cheese, so can I have the new ones?

No, not until you pay for them.

But I did, you have the money.

Yes but we need change.

OK, so if I leave here and IF by some chance I get stopped going to get change,

what do I tell the policeman? I have no license with me, and I dont need to get a ticket for driving with no license because, well you see, I have some, they are just at the License place because I am having to get change.

No response.

So I left. Went to get the bananas and milk, etc and got the change.

Came back and left with the license.

Is it me or what? I have big eyes. I have always had big eyes. Moma used to tell me all the time she could tell when I was sick by the look in my eyes. She said I could make anybody cry when they saw me cry, because my eyes look like dying calf eyes.......(I have no idea what a dying calf looks like and I dont want to....but still, Moma.....)

So again, if you see me, I will be a little different from what I describe myself to others as.

See for years, I have been thinking I had blue eyes, red/blonde/grey/black hair and weighed 136 pounds.

Guess when I go back to the eye doc I will tell him to check my eyes again, because from the description I have been giving of myself and what others see are two different things.

I just figured out, I must be describing someone else, or maybe one of my dogs.

Who knows? 

But I do think I have solved the age old mystery............

Mona Lisa was smiling because........

someone in the line next to her was getting their drivers license renewed.
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