We learned of “Eastwooding” and “legitimate rape,” the “47 percent” and the “waitress mom.” Though not related to any of the political parties, we repeatedly said “Gangham style” and “Love Pentagon,” though not necessarily together.
(If we’d uttered “Eastwooding” and “Love Pentagon” in the same sentence, well, someone should call the censors.)
For legitimacy’s sake, Merriam-Webster this year added words such as “f-bomb,” “sexting” and “gastropub” to its college dictionary, none of which need further explanation.
And here, in our little part of Alabama?
Our lexis deepened with these additions:
Arturficate — v. 1. To reinvent one’s self in virtually all professional phases; includes ideological changes, party affiliation and state of residence. Not unusual for converts to erroneously believe they’re ideologically more comfortable with the opposing party. 2. To sell out. — arturficated, arturfication.
Bentlown — n. The facial expression commonly associated with Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley. [Antonym: The duck-face expression teenagers normally display in pictures uploaded to the social media site Facebook.]
Chizile — v. To post a losing season and lose your college football coaching job only two years removed from winning a national championship. — chiziled, chizilified.
Croweify — v. To fire a longtime and often influential football coach, who is then reassigned to a nebulous administration job to honor the final two years of his contract. — croweified, croweification.
Democranish — v. To remove, through public pressure or natural causes, a particular political party from a state’s leadership. Permanence is understood. — democranished, democranishified.
Dumbazer — n. A college student who participates in the ancient ritual of hazing, particularly those who do the hazing.
Fortyninetozero — v. To soundly defeat a rival college football team so badly that it demoralizes one fan base and elates another. — fortyninetozeroed, fortyninetozeroing.
Gurneewipe — v. To completely overhaul, through public elections, an entire list of incumbent candidates in a particular municipality. — gurneewiped, gurneewiping.
Hubbertate — v. To have one’s political clout drastically reduced, if not wholly removed, through covert politics and backroom dealings. — hubverted, hubbertified, hubbertation.
Inleonitable — adj. 1. Having no chance of ever being defeated in a municipal election. 2. Unconquerable by public vote.
Invisimike — adj. 1. Having little acknowledged impact or contributions professionally. 2. [politics] Being overshadowed by most others in a governing body.
Lostelicause — n. The tendency of residents of the southeastern United States to obsess about the valor of the breakaway states during the American Civil War.
Nicked up — v. To verbally berate a sports journalist for asking inane questions during public press conferences. [See “Knightjacked” for commonalities.]
Parkwayitis — n. A public-policy affliction in which long-promised projects are continually bombarded by fiscal failures and construction delays. [Particularly vile in regions that have weak representation in state and federal government. — Ed.]
Piedor — v. To honor or recognize a public school system for its innovations and high rates of academic success. — piedored, piedorified.
Unrealibud — n. A balanced state fiscal budget passed by a legislature that is neither balanced nor realistic. [Slang: Bentley’s Folly.]
Vaughnarout — n. An Election Day victory so overwhelming that it says as much about the loser as it does the victor.
Phillip Tutor — firstname.lastname@example.org — is The Star’s commentary editor. Follow him at Twitter.com/PTutor_Star.