(I felt quite smug when that latest report came out about a possible link between the extensive use of cell phones and brain cancer.)
I don’t know if I have a really steep learning curve, or if I’m snakebit, but technology and I are not on friendly terms.
I tried to text myself once on my dinky cell phone. I wound up sending myself a string of numbers.
My 12-year-old daughter is now my designated texter.
I have proudly held on to my Luddite ways even as those around me have caved. My husband reads books on a Kindle. My children are walking commercials for Apple. Everything on their Christmas lists starts with “i.”
The last time my daughter had a sleepover, there were more cell phones and iPods in the house than there were girls.
This can work to my advantage: In the old days, parents had children so they’d have more hands to work on the farm. Me, I had children so my cell phone would get programmed.
This can work to my disadvantage: Once the children changed my ringtone to “yowling cat” behind my back. The next time my phone rang I nearly drove off the road.
Most of the time, I have no problem being a technological Luddite. Just look at Cormac McCarthy, author of All the Pretty Horses, No Country for Old Men and The Road. He’s won a Pulitzer Prize, a National Book Award and a MacArthur Foundation genius grant.
He did all of that writing on a manual typewriter he bought almost 50 years ago.
A couple of years ago, the little typewriter finally wore out. McCarthy auctioned it off for charity – and replaced it with an identical 50-year-old typewriter.
OK, I’m not that much of a Luddite.
My wall is crumbling. We play on the Wii. We watch Netflix instant. I find myself saying things like iface palm, ifail and iLOL! I want an iPhone so I can play Angry Birds.
And I finally got a laptop computer – writing on it right now, as a matter of fact – after resisting for years because I always had trouble typing on those shrunken laptop keyboards.
This has worked to my advantage: It’s quite nice to be able to work while stretched out on the couch.
This has worked to my disadvantage: It took me about six hours to try and set up my email account on the new laptop, and by the time I was done I had lost about 50 emails and was sending messages to the wrong people.
Thankfully, my daughter came along and set up my email for me.