He mentioned that he’s been thinking lately about whether it’s time for him to start considering marriage.
He told me he recently started dating a young lady and that things look promising, but it’s early and he plans to take it slowly.
He’s in his late 20s, and he asked if it wouldn’t be difficult to love a person selflessly after being on his own for so long.
I thought it was an opportunity to tell him my “closet” story.
My wife and I have separate closets across the room from each other.
For some reason, it drives her crazy when I leave my closet door open.
For the longest time, I considered it “her problem.” In my mind, surely there are bigger things to worry about than a closed door in a room that no one ever sees but us.
So my initial approach was to close my closet door whenever I felt like it. Or not. Which usually meant it was left open.
But in recent weeks, I’ve come under conviction of a verse in the Bible that I’ve used often in marriage counseling.
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” — 1 Peter 3:7
(By the way, there’s balance. The first six verses of that chapter tell women what God expects of wives.)
Dwell with them according to knowledge.
Not only should we husbands treat our wives according to our basic understanding of right and wrong, but we should continually learn about our wives and treat them according to what we learn about them.
What I hear when I read those words is that we husbands should make every effort to do the things that we know our wives like, and make every effort to avoid doing things we know they don’t like.
I told my friend the point is that the motivation to be selfless doesn’t simply come from wanting to please your wife, but first and foremost, it comes from wanting to please God.
My wife doesn’t like it when I leave the closet door open.
What I realized is that I could do something as simple as closing a closet door and thereby please my wife and God.
Suffice it to say, I don’t always get it right, but I’ve started making an effort to close the closet door.
Even though I still don’t know what the big deal is.
Managing Editor Anthony Cook is pastor at Christian Fellowship Bible Church. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org or 256-235-3558. On Twitter: @acook_star.