School starts for my kids in three more days, and I’m only two-thirds of the way through the back-to-school to-do list.

We have already gotten a lot done, in a calm and orderly fashion. But I have a bad habit of putting off some of the crucial things till the last minute. Which is why I could be found frantically packing a bag for the hospital the first time I went into labor.

Here’s the current state of the to-do list:

Done

Download summer reading requirements.

Download summer reading forms.

Download school supply lists.

Check if any of last year’s school supplies still usable.

Figure out which of three identical flash drives belongs to whom.

Go to Target for two bottles of hand sanitizer and four boxes of tissues.

Go to Target again for one binder, TI-30 XIIS calculator, two packs of eight-tab dividers and three packs of five-tab dividers (or was that eight packs of two-tab dividers and five packs of three-tab dividers?)

Go to Office Max for three packs of notebook paper, two pink erasers and six Sharpies. (Six Sharpies? Why does an 11-year-old boy need six Sharpies? Don’t his teachers realize he’s just going to use them to tattoo himself?)

Realize son’s fancy zippered binder needs replacing.

Search through receipts file to see if I bought an extended warranty on the binder.

Find receipt; realize warranty still good for two more days.

Woot!

Take old binder to store.

Take old binder back home, after being informed I now have to call corporate office with warranty claims.

Call corporate.

File claim.

Wait.

Go to library to get summer reading book. All copies already checked out.

Go to library website to download summer reading book. All copies already checked out.

Go to bookstore to buy summer reading book.

Harangue son to finish summer reading.

Try on last year’s PE uniform.

Buy new PE uniform.

Dig out combination lock for PE locker from junk drawer.

Pick up daughter’s school schedule.

Drop off daughter’s 1,000 pounds of textbooks.

Not done

Take son to doctor for new required vaccination.

Schedule eye exam for son.

Schedule haircut for son.

Check if last year’s lunchboxes still usable.

Buy new water bottles.

Stock up on peanut butter and jelly.

Buy new protective case for iPad.

Take laptop computer to Apple store for repair.

Prepare to be humiliated by hipsters at Genius Bar.

Fill out school forms.

Complain about having to fill out school forms even though nothing has changed since last year.

RSVP for back-to-school party.

Pick up son’s schedule.

Drop off son’s supplies.

Check if any of last year’s school clothes still usable.

Ponder if son can get by with only two pairs of pants.

I really hate shopping for pants for my son.

Take daughter shopping for bright-colored super-skinny jeans.

Regret that I can no longer fit into super-skinny jeans.