Yet you STILL have no idea what you are going to dress up as for Halloween, the only holiday, where, according to Lindsay Lohan’s character in the movie “Mean Girls,” “a girl can dress like a slut and no one can say anything to her.”
But wait! Before you grab those Playboy bunny ears out of sheer desperation, look no further for a cheap and current costume idea than your television. Take note of looks from these five reality show stars, and shop your closet for a costume that will have trick or treaters thinking they accidentally rang the bell of of a real housewife.
Flavor Flav
Former hype man of rap group Public Enemy, most recently on a search for his soul mate in “Flavor of Love” and “Flavor of Love 2.”
Known for: gold teeth, neon colors and trading watches for necklace timepieces, thereby giving grandfather clocks a run for their money.
All you need: grab a brightly colored baseball cap (or crown, if you so choose), a track suit or large collared shirt and baggy pants in a coordinating color, sunglasses and your most visible wall clock to string around your neck — the bigger, the better. For footwear, go with your cleanest pair of dunks or high-top shoes.
Bret Michaels
Lead guitarist of the band Poison, star of “Rock of Love,” winner of Celebrity Apprentice.
Known for: piercing blue eyes, gravelly voice and for not having changed his bandana and blue jeans look for the past quarter-century.
All you need: your most distressed pair of jeans, a black shirt or wife beater, cross necklace, bandana folded across the forehead, stick-straight blonde hair, and five o’clock shadow.
Bonus: This look can work for both guys and girls; use mascara or an eyeliner pencil to fleck in a fake goatee. But only after you use it around your eyes — the more intense, the better.
Teresa Giudice
Star of the “Real Housewives of New Jersey,” author of cookbooks “Skinny Italian” and “Fabulicious”
Known for: big hair, big voice and lots of table-flipping
All you need: gaudy jewelry (preferably something that dangles), your shortest, tightest formal dress, your highest pair of heels, lots of eyeliner, and, to play toward Giudice’s culinary entrepreneurial abilities, a tray of biscotti.
Lauren Conrad
Reality star of “The Hills”, author, all-around nice girl
Known for: cute smile, occasionally raspy voice from evenings spent yelling across the bar and constant text and response.
All you need: a little black dress, peep toe heels, a smartphone in one hand, and a copy of one of Conrad’s novels in the other. Pull your hair back into a low ponytail, place your hand on your hip, cross your legs at the ankle, smize (smile with your eyes), and you’re good to go!
Donald Trump
Creator and host of the show “The Apprentice,” multimillionaire, author, occasional politician
Known for: hair the color — and probable texture — of wheat; sharp suits, prune-like faces and his iconic “You’re Fired!” catchphrase
All you need: your sharpest suit, your pinkest tie, a can of yellow spray-on hair dye (the less appealing, the better), and your most cocky scowl. For extra oomph, carry around a copy of Trump’s book “How To Get Rich,” or pin on a Romney button.
Erin Wiliams is a multimedia journalist currently based in St. Louis.
