About 10 minutes before the end of the final episode of Season 4, I could have stopped this life-robbing marathon. The neat little bow — the must-have for all endings in my life — was affixed there, pretty as you please.
Don't remember what I'm talking about? Allow me to set the scene.
The Oceanic Six, the helicopter pilot and Desmond bob along in a night sea, the stars as their only companion for their heavy hearts after dumb-dumb-head John Locke left to move the island.
"Is that a boat?" one asked, while drifting along in a raft. Everyone screams to boat.
Boat pulls up alongside raft.
"Penny?" Desmond says with a gasp, unable to believe his eyes.
It was the miracle that had kept Penny awake at night, as well. Her true love had returned.
"Desmond," she cried.
And then they're all kiss, kiss, kiss. I love you. ... No, I love you more. ... You can't because I love you infinity.
Sorry for the 12-year-old girl tangent, but that's what the referenced ending would have been suited for. And, sadly, I would have been OK with that.
Why? Because I know nothing is going to be solved when this is all over. And that's just frustrating.
It's going to be who shot JR all over again. Or, Dude, where's my island?
As my friends slowly allow me into the Lost conversation, I realize how much I miss.
You see, this isn't as much about the television show as it is about the conversations that come from the television show and the interaction that it creates in society.
Spirited debates. Like the ones in politics, religion, NASCAR. And the great thing is — and what will be in the end — that much like politics, religion and NASCAR, something will happen at the end that causes ongoing debates without anyone having any ability whatsoever to prove one way or another that the other is totally wrong.
And while I usually like conversations/debates on the aforementioned subjects, there's always some idiot who says or does something stupid and makes me not want to talk anymore.
Which is what the writers did shortly after what could have been a great, happily ever after ending.
Locke. In a box.
Huh? And after nearly being content with dropping out of this marathon after four seasons, I turn to my Netflix like a lonely Wyoming cowboy. On to Season 5, which I must finish by Tuesday.
I wish I could quit you, Lost.
Seriously, I want to quit you. I need the sleep.
... and now i’m found
Sports editor Bran Strickland is on a crusade to catch up with Lost before the final-season premiere on Tuesday. Follow his progress — but don’t give spoilers — on Twitter, @Bran_Strickland.