FORT PAYNE -- Sunday morning from up here ... * * * I’M MORE than a little ticked at my bank ... I’ve been with this particular bank since along about the time The Ark came to rest on Mount Arafat ... now, when I go through the drive-in to cash a check, I have to remove my driver’s license from my billfold (country wallet) and send it along with the check I’m cashing ... it’s not the fault of the people at the bank ... it’s some nerdy jerk in an ivory tower somewhere who sits around making up rules to keep his (or her) job while the people on the front lines have to live with irate customers ... I’m thinking about burying my money in the backyard ... ‘course one small Campbell soup can would take care of that.

* * * SEXUAL discrimination is alive and well in the most unexpected places ... like on “Wheel of Fortune,” a silly little game show I enjoy ... the discrimination? ... you have three contestants nightly ... always two of the female gender, one male ... and have you ever noticed that in 80 percent or so where restrooms are available to the public, you have to walk past the “Women” door to get to “Men?” ... ain’t fair, especially when you have to walk the extra 10 steps with your legs crossed ... think about it.

— One other thing ... if you see me talking with the ladies more than with the men, I’m not “hitting” ... I’d rather talk to the ladies ... I know exactly what a man is going to say, have no idea what’s coming from the female.

— Then there’s a blonde bombshell by the name of Megyn Kelly who anchors Fox Live from noon ‘til 2 p.m. (65 on Cable One) ... on a scale of 1-10, the lady is a home-wrecker, but she runs a very good two-hour news show, too ... without trying to be funny, it’s “easy viewing” ... besides that, I’m partial to blondes ... as most of you know.

* * * EVERY TIME I drive through the Eastern Bypass construction at Five Points in Saks, I have the strangest feeling I’m looking at a mirage ... after all these years, I have a tough time wrapping my arms around the “fact” ... especially since during the good times, OUR congressman announced he would no longer pursue federal money for the project ... then came the Great Recession and stimulus money.

— And if this kicks up a fuss, so be it ... there has been some discussion as to the naming of the bypass and since President Barrack Obama had more than a little to do with the stimulus money ... no, forget I suggested THAT, huh?

— It also occurs to me that Hardee’s and Captain D’s won’t be the only fast food fronts on Quintard boarded up once the bypass wraps traffic to the other side of the mountain and into Oxford.

* * * IN CASE you missed it, the ratings for Larry King (CNN) are down 44 percent ... I don’t figure in that since I’ve never been a Larry King fan ...

— Where at the lawmakers when you need ‘em? ... there should be a law making those halogen headlights popping that are popping up on automobiles of late illegal ... they’re blinding, to say the least.

— As of this writing, I am sitting in a Hampton Inn just off I-59 in Ft. Payne ... it took a while to get the blonde out of the truck ... seems she read a story earlier in the week about a lady who checked into a Hampton south of Dallas, sat down on the potty, and when she “arose” to wash her hands, she was looking at a three-foot python curled up in the wash basin ... I had to check the bathroom in Room 208 three times before she’d put her purse down ... after I took an oath on one of those Gideon bibles I found on the nightstand ... she’s still not sleeping all that well since we’ve been here.

Thanks for visiting ...

---

George Smith can be reached at 239-5286 or e-mail: gsmith731@gmail.com